Word Cramp

It’s been a tough 5 days since my last post. More than tough in fact. I’d possibly go as far as to say brutal. Let me explain…

I enjoyed writing that previous post so much, I decided I’d go straight into writing the next. Opening up a fresh word document, I made ready to quickly and breezily tap out a chirpy yet sophisticated little musing, probably having it done before I’d even had chance to finish my coffee. Taking a quick slurp, I positioned the cursor at the top of the page, stretched and wiggled my fingers ( in pretty much the same way a concert pianist before might before belting out a bit Rachmaninov – such was the level of anticipated artistry), then promptly froze. My mind had gone blank.

I stared at the empty page, waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. Not a thing.In fact, I ended up staring at that blank document for nearly 5 days. 5 long, hard, cruel days. I have not moved from the sofa. Not once – not even for one of those, or even, I’m ashamed to say, one of those. I couldn’t. What if I thought of something to write, while I was there? Sorry, perhaps you didn’t need to know that.

Then again, perhaps you did. I want you to know how I’ve suffered. The dregs of the coffee has a slimy layer on it – it may be edible, it kind of looks as if it may be. It is all the sustenance I have at hand. My already stubbly, grubby chin is now fuzzy, my complexion sallow. I am rank. Reeking. I disgust myself more than usual.

At some point, about 3 days in, it seemed I had it. ‘The muses have saved me’, I thought to myself, an inane grinning spreading across my face. After 500 words I stopped to read through what I’d written, only to recoil in sheer horror when I saw that before me lay half a sheet of nothing more than punctuation marks and symbols; semi colons, exclamation marks, pound signs and ampersands, all laid out as if words and paragraphs. I nearly posted it just so I could move on, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad once you got into into. But no, I persevered, I couldn’t cheat you like that. Though, maybe, on reading through what I’ve just written, I should have. What a struggle it is sometimes to find the words – the right words.

Then you see something like this, and you realise that perhaps the words aren’t that important after all. You really can express so much without actually writing anything. Anyway, if you like the above link, you may want to go here and give the guy some money to keep him going.

Likewise, if you want me to shut up, it’ll cost you. I’m not sure what yet, though I won’t be cheap.


About odiousghost

Successfully going from failure to failure since 1767
This entry was posted in London, Stories and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Word Cramp

  1. Cafe says:

    Lol it’s not easy following a great act, right? But I think you did with this post =P
    Love that saying in the pic!

  2. odiousghost says:

    Yea – it’s a great saying, quite true.

    Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it!

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